“Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12
From the book “In God’s Arms” by Pam Waugh
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I realized for the first time in my life just a glimpse of what grace was. Grace is love – an awesome, unconditional love I did not have as a little girl. A love that surpasses all other love that you can have on earth, and I had it. I had it through Jesus. his death on the cross was for me. I was undeserving, but it did not matter. That is how much He love me! Grace means no guilt, no bondage, no holding grudges, no judgment; it is forgiveness at its best!
This excerpt is from my journal around that time. I was starting to experience God’s healing, and it was so new to me. To feel free inside for the first time is very hard to explain. I hop this will help you understand how I felt.
“I see the reality of the childhood I really had, and all the craziness in my head is gon. I see the true wretched childhood that I really had, but in seeing truth, I find sanity finally fro the first time ever! This is a sad but happy statement. I’m sad that it’s taken me this long to see that I’m not a crazy, ugly, stupid person. happy because the truth is finally and truly starting to set me free from all the hurt and pain I pretended not to carry. Everyone else saw it as I denied it. Isn’t that interesting? Because faceing it was too overwhelming and devastating (you think anyway), when actually it’s freedom! Wow, wonderful and beautiful, like a fresh spring rain. Just smelling the fresh dampness that brings the gorgeous flowers. Yea, baby!”
Freedom was coming to me like a fresh rain. It was starting to smell sweet, and I could start believing and hoping for the first time that I would have a time in my life where I would have peace. peace that only God can give. nothing else had worked, but God did. God started to heal me. God started a new work in me.
I started realizing that if I was truly going to heal, I had to truly be as a child. I mean, come on, God had told me this twice already, so that’s what I started to try to do. It was like having to learn to walk all over again. my husband was a great help in this area. For example, my main issue was with God and how He perceived me, so whenever I would read Scripture, I would read it with him for a while because I looked at it in a totally wrong way. My husband had supportive parents and has a totally different perception of God. He knows who he is in the Lord and is confident in his salvation. This helped me greatly at this time in my life. We would sit together in the mornings and read Scripture. He would ask me what a Scripture meant, and it would usually be very condemning to me. He would see it totally different and would patiently help me see how I had looked at it wrongly because of my hurt and pain. He was very loving as he explained to me what it should really mean if I was a chilf of God. Sometimes I would get angry because I got frustrated, thinking, I can’t do this! I’ll never measure up! I would then remind myself that I was God’s little girl, and I didn’t have to measure up. he loved me anyway. I knew that what Scott said was God’s truth, so I had to think of it in those terms. this was a great healing factor for me. God knew I needed it, for me to wrap my brain around all of this. I had to learn everything from the ground up. I had to learn to walk all over again! I was starting to find the height, depth, and width of God’s love in my life, only because for the first time I was willing to open up to it.
Are you willing to be like a child and learn all over again the real truth that God has for you? To get rid of the old way of thinking and learn to walk all over again? I challenge you to do so! It is so worth it. God’s grace is efficient. You don’t have to do anything to earn His love! He already loves you! He just wants you to be able to listen to him so that you can have freedom in your life. So that you can know that He loves you so much!
Go to Part 5 of Be As a Child
